The 3 Rs – Rehome, Re-establish & Reconnect
Bringing a new animal into your life is a deeply emotional and transformative experience—for both of you.
Whether you're rescuing a soul in need, purchasing a new partner, or receiving the gift of an animal from a friend or breeder, it's a milestone moment. There's excitement, anticipation, hope… and, often, a silent set of expectations about how it should all unfold.
But here’s the truth we often overlook: a new beginning is also an ending. An ending of what was familiar to the animal—their known routines, smells, companions, landscape, even language and energy.
So the big question is:
How long should it take for you and your new horse or animal to truly click?
Two weeks? A month? Three months?
We live in a fast-paced world, and sometimes we place that same urgency on our animals. We want them to adapt quickly, respond well, behave calmly, and feel at home now. But the truth is—each animal has their own timeline. And more importantly, it’s not up to us to dictate that timeline.
1. Rehome: More Than a Change of Address
When we talk about rehoming, we often focus on the logistics—transport, food, gear, paddocks. But rehoming is an emotional upheaval. Imagine if, overnight, your entire life changed:
New house
New people
New expectations
New bed, new smells, new food
New social group (or total isolation)
New routine, different energy
No familiar touchstones at all
That’s what our animals experience when they move homes. And unlike us, they don’t get the memo in advance.
Have you ever started a new job? Even if you were brilliant in your last role, the new one comes with:
A different desk
Unfamiliar colleagues
New software
Changed hierarchy
Different expectations
New commute
And sometimes even a new language (hello, acronyms!)
Most employers give us a probation period—sometimes up to six months—to settle in, learn the ropes, find our feet.
Yet when it comes to our animals, we often expect them to adjust in two weeks or less.
That mindset needs a serious rethink.
2. Re-establish: Routines, Roles & Rhythm
Every animal—especially horses—thrives on routine and clarity. They want to know:
Who am I in this new herd (even if the herd is just you)?
When do I eat?
Where do I sleep?
What do you expect of me?
Are you safe?
Do I have space to relax, to be myself, to let my guard down?
The process of re-establishing a sense of normal requires patience and presence. It doesn’t happen because we force it—it happens because we show up consistently, calmly, and with curiosity.
And it's not just about them adjusting to us. We need to adjust to them too.
Horses especially are incredibly intuitive and aware. They’re watching us constantly, assessing whether we are safe, fair, and trustworthy. They’re wondering whether they’re going to be listened to or overruled. And sometimes, they’re trying to decipher a whole new language—especially if they've been trained or handled differently before.
3. Reconnect: Building the Bridge One Moment at a Time
The magic word here is connection.
This isn’t about riding, working, or even leading—it’s about spending time in shared space, without expectation. It’s about:
Sitting in the paddock with a cuppa while they graze.
Offering scratches if they want them—and withholding if they don’t.
Matching your breath to theirs.
Learning what calms them and what startles them.
Being the constant in their ever-changing world.
Connection comes when we allow the animal to reveal who they are on their terms, not ours.
Sometimes, especially in the horse world, we see a buyer try out a horse in a familiar arena, under the watchful eye of the previous owner. Everything feels right—safe, responsive, soft.
Then the horse is moved. New paddock, new person, new rules.
And suddenly that calm horse becomes anxious, distracted, even reactive.
It’s not a bait and switch—it’s a natural response to uncertainty. Horses are herd animals and prey animals. Safety is everything. And until they feel secure in their new environment, they simply can’t behave the way they did in their old one.
So What Can You Do to Support the Transition?
Here are some grounded, practical ways to ease the process of rehoming and reconnecting:
Transition slowly. If you can, keep some things familiar—same food, similar rugs, same grooming tools, even familiar voice cues.
Ask questions. Don’t be afraid to get the full backstory from the previous owner or rescue. What was their routine? Who were their companions? What stresses them out? What makes them feel safe?
Be consistent. Animals feel safe when their environment is predictable. Be mindful about feeding times, your tone of voice, even your energy when you arrive.
Lower your expectations. This is a relationship, not a transaction. If your horse isn’t ready to be ridden, don’t push. If they’re unsure about leading, slow down. Celebrate the small wins.
Create space for connection. Sit with them. Walk beside them. Groom them without pressure. Let them initiate. Let them say no. Give them a voice.
Allow emotional expression. Your new animal may have emotions to process—grief, confusion, anxiety, even anger. Just like people, they need to be seen and supported, not punished for feeling.
Trust the process. The more you show up with softness and understanding, the more you build trust. And from trust comes magic.
Final Thought: The Real Timeline
So how long does it take for an animal to settle?
There’s no single answer. Some may feel at ease in a week. Others might take six months to truly relax and trust. And some—especially those with trauma—will need more.
The goal isn’t speed—it’s depth.
Because when you get it right…
When you truly rehome with love, re-establish routine with gentleness, and reconnect from the heart—
You don’t just have an animal.
You have a partner.
A companion.
A soul connection.
And that is worth all the time in the world.
